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i can communicate with EVERYone good!

July 5, 2010

Before you read further, please go watch this video: Jessica’s Daily Affirmations

If I were to do this (which I do most mornings-its so fun and uplifting!) I would now be able to say “i can communicate with everyone good!” All because of one thing. LifeLanguages.

Developed by Fred & Anna Kendall and detailed in their book Speaking Of Love, the seven LifeLanguages are a clue to how individuals operate, communicate, and express and experience love.

There is no one language better, rather, they are ranked by their level of fluency for each person, and no ranking or combination of the seven is better or worse than another. The seven LifeLanguages have three categories: Emotive, Cognitive, and Kinetic.People who speak emotive languages generally respond to life, people, stress and values first with their hearts, then with their heads or actions. People who speak cognitive languages generally respond to life, people, stress and values first with their heads, then with their hearts and actions. Those who speak kinetic languages generally respond to life, people, stress and values first with actions, then with their heads or hearts. The seven “languages” are The Mover, The Doer, The Influencer, The Responder, The Producer, The Shaper, and The Contemplator. (taken from the LifeLanguages website).


If there is anything I have learned in my life and in our relationship, it would be that good communication is vital. Misunderstandings can lead to heartache, distrust, and dishonesty. I don’t want any of those! I want to be successful in my communication with others, but especially with Justin. If in marriage the ultimate goal is to glorify God and by doing so we must love each other as He loves us, where is the room for poor communication? It is essential to communicate and communicate effectively, if we are to make it in marriage and in life.

One of my favorite things about the LifeLanguages profile is how it makes you feel like there is a reason-a God-ordained reason- for you to be and communicate the way you do. It probably comes as no surprise that my top language was The Responder, followed by The Influencer as my second, both of those being the Emotive Languages. Truth be told I am an emotional person. I have always felt scrutinized for being this way, and like that wasn’t “good” or “right”, that somehow I needed to not feel so much. When I got the results of my LifeLanguages profile and subsequently learned about my language and prayed about it- I felt this great sense of peace in knowing that God created me this way for a reason! I cannot tell you how much freedom has come from this realization! The LifeLanguages profile told me all about the reasons why I may be the way I am, things to improve on, and ways to do so. Responders (that’s me!) tend to be feeling-oriented, creative, sympathetic, affectionate, people-oriented, and not controlled by time or schedules (or at least dislike it when they are :P). They may tend to blame thiemselves and others. They can become overly-emotional at times. High Responders desire to help and relieve the emotional pain of others.- Does this fit me to a tee or what??

What has been equally amazing has been going through this process with Justin. Though I would have thought that since we are so alike, we would be similar in our profiles-  Justin’s profile resulted in The Contemplator, with not many of his other languages scoring in the fluent range. So whenever he processes or communicates, he thinks, thinks, and thinks some more. Where as I am completely driven by my emotions and my feelings. What is great is that the LifeLanguages supports our differences and encourages us to appreciate and respond to our differences. Knowing my partner’s -and other friends’- LifeLanguages helps me to know how to better relate, talk, listen, and respond to them. I am so excited about the knowledge of self and others I’ve acquired through LifeLanguages and I am passionate about telling everyone I know to take the profile and begin their journey towards better communication!!


Life Languages definitely gave me a better explanation of myself and the people i’m in relationship with.  In some instances it validated who i am and left me feeling, as Chris Carrabba would say, “vindicated.”  It also poked at my weaknesses and challenged me to grow.  It will be fun and assumedly quite beneficial to re-take the test in a couple years to see the differences in my communication styles.  I think overall, Life Languages is an extraordinary and needed tool used to understand the thing we all have to deal with most:


ps. please note the differences in our summaries. I clearly wrote whatever came to my mind and what I was feeling. Justin clearly thought his out and condensed it into a neat paragraph. I should have him edit my writing and speech 😉

pss. if you are interested in taking the LifeLanguages profile, or want to know more about it, contact Allison Hendrickson at allyhendrickson at gmail dot com.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Josiah permalink
    July 12, 2010 9:40 pm

    that sounds neat and purposeful, perhaps i shall find this a useful exercise.


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